The Gift of Not Knowing

What If You Don’t Have to Know?

A few weeks ago, I watched someone freeze up during an event we were hosting. At first pass it seemed like a simple create experience. It was low pressure, just for fun. But something in them stiffened, like their brain was frantically flipping through pages trying to find the "right" answer. The moment passed. They smiled it off. But I recognized that feeling in my bones.

Because I’ve been there too.

That awful moment when you realize… you don’t know what to do next.

And all the neat little plans and predictions you made? Useless.

But what if that’s not a flaw? What if that’s the entry point?

Why “Clarity” Might Be Overrated

We’re taught to chase certainty…perfection event. To create five-year plans. To define the brand. To know our next move. But the world isn’t following the script anymore.

Markets shift faster than we can model them. Communities evolve in ways that data can’t always predict. Leadership expectations have changed from decisive to adaptive. And, whether you’re running a business, a dance class, or your own life, the playbook is being rewritten in real-time.

Velocity has become the default. The pace isn’t just quickening; it’s compounding. That means fewer clear answers and more moments when you’re asked to lead through the fog.

It used to be: “Let’s wait until we’re sure.”

Now it’s: “Can you move while you’re still figuring it out?”

The old way said, “Know before you go.”

The new way asks, “Are you willing to grow in motion?”

That’s not easy. But it’s freeing.

The Beautiful Mess of Ambiguity

When we first started DFW Young & Social, we had no roadmap, just a vague itch that connection should be easier, and that someone should make space for it. We didn’t know if anyone would come. Heck, I didn’t know what I was doing half the time. And yet, the not-knowing allowed something better to emerge.

If I’d clung to certainty, I never would’ve taken the risk.

If I’d waited to have all the data and demographics, the doors never would’ve opened.

The ambiguity became the gift. Because in that uncomfortable space, I was able to listen. Adjust. Rebuild. Pivot again. Not because I had answers, but because I stayed curious.

And that’s what separates momentum from motion. Not just speed, but responsiveness. A willingness to trust the discomfort and keep going anyway.

A Few Stories That Stay With Me

There’s something fascinating about how organizations are navigating change right now. A top-tier leadership consultancy once described today’s best leaders not as fast thinkers, but as “masters of velocity.” People who don’t just respond quickly, but who sense the shifts and move with them before others even recognize the pattern.

In another corner of the leadership world, one team rewrote their own internal frameworks because their old ones couldn’t account for the sheer volume of “unknowns” they were facing. They let go of certainty. They started tracking clarity by questions asked, not answers given.

And in a story I read recently, Martin Fellenz a geopolitical strategist, described how to “unexpect the expected,” to stop looking for patterns that confirm our comfort and start watching for what breaks the rhythm.

These aren’t just clever ideas. They’re survival strategies. And for those willing to embrace ambiguity, they’re power moves.

What I Keep Coming Back To

We spend so much time trying to control the narrative. Trying to forecast the market, predict the trend, understand the person across the table. But some of the best decisions I’ve ever made were born out of frustration and uncertainty.

The trick wasn’t removing the discomfort. It was learning how to sit with it long enough for something new to emerge.

Clarity isn’t always a light switch. Sometimes it’s a slow burn. And in the dark, your instincts grow sharper.

A Few Things I’m Still Learning

• Discomfort isn’t danger. Just because something feels shaky doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Sometimes it means you’re right on the edge of something big.

• Letting go is leadership. You don’t have to hold it all, define it all, control it all. People don’t need perfect. They need presence.

• You can’t outrun ambiguity. So you may as well make it your dance partner. Get curious about what’s possible when the rules aren’t fixed.

• Your beliefs might be blocking you. If a story about who you are (or how things “should” be) is keeping you stuck, rewrite it. Even mid-sentence.

• Velocity doesn’t mean chaos. It just means that direction matters more than destination. Keep choosing to move. Keep choosing to care.

Sit With It

Ambiguity won’t always feel good. And that’s okay. But don’t confuse discomfort with a wrong turn. Sometimes the uncertainty is the invitation. To listen deeper. To grow differently. To see yourself more clearly.

You don’t have to rush to solve it.
You just have to be brave enough to stay in it.

And maybe, just maybe, what emerges will be better than anything you could’ve predicted.

{Insert Image Idea: A path curving into dense fog, just enough light to take the next step.}